I Didn't Buy the Eggplant

I didn't buy the eggplant, even though I like to think of myself as a person who buys and prepares eggplant in many interesting and tasty ways. I am actually a person who is more likely to eat cherry or grape tomatoes than regular tomatoes becuase they require less effort. That's the awful truth. Eggplants, much as I enjoy them, require time and energy. Since I am the only memeber of my household who currently eats eggplant, I cannot justify preparing them on a weekday. (Shabbos guests are their own category). Some day, when I have fewer pressing demands on my time, maybe. But not now. I am finished composting forgotten eggplants bought in moments of hope and delusional nutritional idealism.

You may be wondering why this is interesting and I wouldn't want to disappoint. I'm thinking alot these days about image and how our images of ourselves affect our decisions. Trivial decisions, like the kind I make in the produce isle, and significant decisions like how I speak to my children or whether or not I should take this medication. It's everywhere I look and it's really very disturbing. I suspect that it's not just me -- the entire advertising industry feeds off of this feature of the human psyche.

I learned in high school that real growth is very painful and that's the main reason it takes so long. My adolescent self figured I could speed up the process by getting up the guts and just facing the unsavory bits and get it over with. I'm finding the hard part is finding said unsavory bits since they don't want to be found.

I heard an explanation of the story about Yaakov wrestling with the angel that what he was wrestling with was his image of himself. That in preparation for meeting Esav he had to be free from any motivations stemming from how he viewed himself or how he wanted others to view him. I wonder what Yaakov's "demons" were and I find it encouraging that even Yaakov was dealing with some of the same things we do. Torah doesn't have saints, just great people.

I am on a quest to unveil these images! I want my blog to be thoughtful and personal but not secret -- maintaining that kind of anonymity is exhausting and robs me of my best dinner conversation contributions. Nothing terrible will happen if someone recognizes me. (Hi GG!)
Oh, and the name is from Nick Bantock's trilogy. (Just plain "Sabine" was not available). I spent many happy hours on Shabbos afternoons studying the artwork, looking for clues about them and their relationship. Didn't care as much for #4 nd haven't read any of his other works.